The Family – Part 3

Today I am officiating a wedding of a young couple. It’s been a great joy for my wife and I to walk alongside of them and help prepare them for their marriage together. In preparation for their wedding, a few scriptural points have come to mind that I would like to share.

First, the covenant between a husband and wife is a symbol of Christ and the church. Marriage is not about meeting your spouse half way, but it’s about mutual submission under the authority and reverence of Christ (Eph. 5:21).

Second, Christ gave up His life on the cross and died for our sins (Matt. 27:32-44; Ac. 2:23, 24; Rom. 3:24-26; 1 Cor. 15:3,4; 1 Pet. 3:18). This type of sacrificial love is the kind of love husbands ought to have for their wives (Eph. 5:25). Timothy Keller writes, “The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once.”[1]

Third, marriage is not to be centered on the needs of your spouse, but centered on the truth of the gospel. Couples who get married because they believe their spouse complete them miss the biblical meaning of marriage. Marriage is not so much about the couples’ likes and dislikes, but about loving and respecting one another based on the finished work of Jesus Christ. Paul writes, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus (Phil. 2:2-5).” What would marriages look like if their actions were lived out according to the mind of Christ? I believe there would be total transformation if married couples pursued together Romans 12, Philippians 2, Ephesians 4, and James 2.

Fourth, marriage is a covenantal relationship that is consecrated in the presence of a holy and all-consuming God (Heb. 2:20; 10:31). Marriage is the only relationship that becomes “one flesh” and symbolizes the unity of God and the relationship between Christ and the church. Jesus powerfully affirmed, “What God has joined together, let man not separate (Matt. 19:6). We need to cherish and protect this God-ordained covenant!

Fifth, and finally, marriage is about commitment. This kind of commitment is not simply “till death do us part.” Christ told His disciples: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me (Lk. 9:23).” Marriage is to benefit when we deny our sinful flesh and pick up our cross and follow Christ!

Take Action

1. Husband – I challenge you to show more love to your wife and kids (Eph. 5:25; 6:4; Col. 3:19, 21).
2. Wife – I challenge you to show more respect to your husband and kids (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18).
3. Married couples – I challenge all of us to use our marriages to help restore broken ones (Rom. 15:1-5).

---

[1] The Meaning of Marriage, p. 48

The Family – Part 2

In the first installment of this series on “The Family,” I laid out two foundational truths that every family needs to know: (1) who God is and (2) what He expects from us. This may sound simple (and in some ways it is), but boy…let me tell you…so many families lose sight of God and His expectations for them every single day.

Often, members of the family are too busy getting things done or trying to meet each other’s needs, that they forget to turn their focus on the majesty of God (Rev. 17:14; 19:16), as well as imitating Him (Eph. 5:1, 2). This is what God desires from us! He wants us to make time with Him, and to entrust our lives to Him because His love for us is eternal and perfect (Jn 12:25; Eph. 6:24; 2 Thess. 2:16). But this takes something special in order for it to work.

 That special something is…faith.

As you know, there is a lot of dynamics and needs that families have, and so it takes a lot of love, trust, commitment, endurance, and (of course) faith in God to help protect and grow your family. Therefore, faith is central to building and maintaining a strong and vibrant family.

In the New Testament, the word “faith” comes from the Greek word pistis, which means “assurance or belief.” So I would like to ask you a twofold questions: What kind of faith are you exercising as you raise your family (Heb. 11:1, 2; Abraham – Gen. 15:6); and in what ways is your faith impacting them?

You see, putting your faith in God makes all the difference in the world. It takes faith to believe in the sovereignty of God (Dan. 4; Ps. 147) and to live out His Word (1 Pet. 2; Js. 1). Jesus told His disciples, “If you had faith the size of a mustard seed…you can move mountains (Matt. 17:20, 21).” God isn’t looking for some “radical” and “oversized” faith. He just wants you to believe that He is who He says He is!

He wants you to look to Him to build your house and help you be a better servant and leader in the home. In Psalm 127:1, Solomon wrote, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” In Psalm 11:3, David expressed, “If the foundations are destroyed what can the righteous do?”

Remember, it takes prayer and faith to activate this kind of belief and trust in God. Make sure you devote enough prayer everyday (Col. 4:2) asking God to strengthen your faith and trust in Him so that you will be able to give your family what they desperately need.

If we want blessings from God, nothing can fetch them down but faith. Prayer cannot draw down answers from God’s throne except it be the earnest prayer of the man who believes. Faith is the angelic messenger between the soul and the Lord Jesus in glory. Let that angel be withdrawn, we can neither send up prayer, nor receive the answers. Faith is the telegraphic wire which links earth and heaven—on which God’s messages of love fly so fast, that before we call he answers, and while we are yet speaking he hears us. But if that telegraphic wire of faith be snapped, how can we receive the promise?^[1]

 

 

 

 

---

^[1] Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening: Daily Readings, Complete and unabridged; New modern edition. (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2006).

The Family – Part 1

God loves family.

Stop and think about that.

The God who created the heavens and the earth (Isa. 42:5) also designed the family (Gen. 1:26, 27; Deut. 6; Eph. 6:1-4). By design, this shows the great power and tender love that God has for His creation.

This is extremely important to developing and maintaining a healthy family. Why you might ask? Because it lays the foundation for what God intends for each and every family.

Through the years I have had the privilege of meeting and counseling with hundreds and hundreds of families. In these conversations, I have found that many families have lost sight of these two simple truths: (1) who God is, and (2) His expectations for the family.

Often, what I hear is how the other spouse never listens, or the arguments with the dreaded teenager, or how strict and controlling parents are at home. Whatever the case may be, one of the most fundamental principles every family must never forget is that there is a holy God (Ex. 15:11) and it is our duty to obey, honor and serve Him (Deut. 11:13)!

The moment we shift our focus from God and onto ourselves, the less likely we will obey Him and teach our family the truths of His Word (Deut. 6:4-6). The key is to focus on who God is and not on what you want.

Finally, when God is your total focus, it puts into perspective what He expects from you and how to relate it to your family. The first thing the Bible says is to, “love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, and soul (Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:37). Once you do that, it makes it so much easier to “love your neighbor as yourself (Matt. 22:38).

God requires us to love Him and to love others. That’s the foundation of family!

So, how are you doing with your love for God and your love for your family? Is there anything between your spouse or going on with your child that needs to be resolved?

Remember these two simple truths: (1) love God (who is holy, righteous and just), and (2) seek to put your family first above yourself (Heb. 12:14; Rom. 12:18 15:1-5; 1 Cor. 10:24). This is a powerful reminder for you to love the Lord for who He is and for giving you the tremendous opportunity to demonstrate that love to your family.

Take Action

1. What are some improvements needed in your life?

2. How are you demonstrating the love of God to your spouse and children?

3. List some ways you can help your family be more active in supporting one another.

The Battle Over American Families

As you read this blog, there is an intense war being waged over who will control the future destiny of our families in America. This war goes much deeper than opinion or political expediency. It is a war that rages over whose ideas will rule and whose ideas will be obliterated and sink into obscurity.

The penetrating words of Ravi Zacharias come to mind when he stressed, “Any society, however sincere, that believes in the equality of all ideas will pave the way for the loss of good ones. What is true, however, is that most people are guided in life by a handful of ideas, and therefore it is all the more important that there be a way of measuring why one idea is chosen over another.  This is the issue at the heart and soul of Western pluralism; on what basis have we surrendered ourselves to the ideas that govern our culture?”

So the question before us is this: whose ideas are right?

These raging war of ideas are more than just offering opinions; this culture war is a cosmic battle between two diametrically opposed worldviews. On one hand you have traditionalism, which is a worldview based on a Judeo-Christian ethic that seeks to live according to moral absolutes and upholds to religious freedoms. On the other hand you have cultural relativism, which denies objective truth and moral absolutes and wants to legislate their ideas and establish their views as the totalitarian law of the land. However, America was not founded on a pluralistic framework. It was founded on the ideas and principles of freedom, liberty, and “In God We Trust.” Our Founders surrendered their lives for the future hope of a Republic that would champion great ideals through peace, prosperity, and religious freedom for posterity.

But now the America we love is increasingly changing into something we don’t love. Over the better part of the last century, America has been exchanging the written truths of our Founders for a new world order that opposes the very principles this nation was founded upon. With increasing regularity we witness our free market being replaced with a socialist one. We read rewritten versions of American history in textbooks throughout the nation. We see our Constitution revised with idealism. And most strikingly, we see our Judeo-Christian ethics swept away for situational ethics.

Although the beacon of hope and opportunity that America once offered has grown dim, there is still a window of opportunity to reignite our country’s fervor to bring peace and stability to the world. But in order for this to happen, Christians all over the country need to wake up, pray expectantly, and fight to preserve the future freedoms of our children!

Take Action

1. Pray for your city, state and country everyday (2 Chron. 7:14; Ps. 5; 1 Tim. 2:1-6)
2. Be active in supporting organizations that help the community.
3. Stay involved in local politics.
4. Learn more about our Christian Heritage in America.
5. Get your church involved.

Truth For a New Generation – Pt. 2

This attitude that truth is nothing more than feeling has become quite detrimental to society. American families are witnessing a major exodus of young people denying absolute truth for something more palatable. Young people all across the country are transitioning from the religious faith they grew up believing at home, in exchange for a newfound belief of religious pluralism (i.e., belief that all religious views are true). That’s why it is crucial for parents and leaders in America to know and teach absolute truth to the next generation.

If you follow the media, it won’t take long to see untruths splattered all over public schools, textbooks, politics, and the news. The indoctrination of students begins the moment they enter the classroom.  Once completed, the next step is to program students with the duplicity to spread this adulterated ideology to their home and friends. Thus, by the time young people enter college they have had twelve years of pure indoctrination that truth is not absolute, but obsolete.

There are several telling explanations as to how this sort of indoctrination has gone unchallenged and how it continues to gain momentum.

First, the home life has become very ambiguous in its religious beliefs.  That is to say, parents are not training up their children in the ways of God, which in turn, has caused many problems on many different levels. Fathers in particular no longer look to consistently comfort, exhort and instruct their children in a God-modeled fashion that offers deep roots of spiritual enrichment. Many young people who once labeled themselves as “church-goers” are now riddled with self-absorption and doubt. This generation is desperate to witness their parents holding to religious beliefs, actively engaging them with respect and accountability, and modeling a life fueled with hard work and appreciation.

Second, local churches are not accurately addressing this mass exodus of young people and lack a strategic plan of action to equip parents to properly train their children in the way they should go. Today, churches across the country are more concerned with entertaining students rather than training them with life skills that pertain to moral standards, convictions and values.  One would think that churches would make it a top priority to select and fund the best ministers to shepherd and equip families in a wide range of topics that threaten the very foundation of their faith. Instead, it’s not uncommon to find untrained ministers who place a high priority performing the next best thing rather than informing their students of the latest dangers that can (and will) threaten their lives!

Third, the pain and hurt represented among this growing population of young people is quite depressing. Many young people don’t communicate or relate to their parents, despite the fact that both parties wish their relationship was better. Most young people will tell you that they are beyond frustrated with their parent’s hypocrisy and argumentative approach to life.  Rather than discussing relevant issues openly and constructively, young people feel removed and distant from their parents. In his well-researched book, Hurt 2.0, Dr. Chap Clark introduces this insightful observation: “As young people attempt to navigate the increasing complexity of life, they are both incredibly resilient and deeply wounded. The culture itself is no longer as attentive to the needs of children and adolescents as it once was, and therefore, the young work hard at finding out how to make it on their own.”

In short, with parents becoming more illiterate in teaching absolute truth and values to their children, and churches becoming more compromised in their beliefs, no wonder our children are embracing a more culturally relative view of truth. Nancy Pearcey warns in Total Truth, “If all we give them is a ‘heart’ religion, it will not be strong enough to counter the lure of attractive but dangerous ideas. Young believers also need a ‘brain’ religion – training in worldview and apologetics – to equip them to analyze and critique the competing worldviews they will encounter when they leave home.”

This is the growing battle American families are facing, and it ought to motivate us to be proactive in training and engaging this generation with the absolute truth of God!

Take Action

1. Ask the Lord for daily wisdom (Deut. 4; Pro. 4; Js. 1).
2. Study the topic of “truth” in the Bible.
3. Become familiar with relativism and learn how to combat it.
4. Teach your children the absolute nature of truth.
5. Truth Tools 

Truth For a New Generation – Pt. 1

On October 17, 2005, Stephen Colbert invented a new word, “truthiness” in efforts to define the growing ideological movement known as relativism. He stated, “It used to be everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that’s not the case anymore, facts matter not at all. Perception is everything…truth is “what I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true.” It’s not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true.”

To think “truthiness” was simply an amusing satire displayed on Comedy Central, has turned into the Word of the Year from the American Dialect Society (2005) and Merriam-Webster Dictionary (2006).

This, regrettably, offers some insight into the particular beliefs held by the rising generation. In his insightful book, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Teens, Christian Smith provided extensive research from today’s teens to find out where they stood on life, truth and religious beliefs. When asked about truth and religion only fewer than one-third of teens believed that one religion is true:

• 60 percent were convinced that many religions were true
• 46 percent of Christian teens claimed that one religion is true

George Barna’s Real Teens, revealed that the majority of our youth (81%) have personally adopted the view that “all truth is relative” to the individual and determined within their personal circumstances. Yet, the ironic thing is that unless truth is real, such statements like: “Truth is relative to the individual person.” “Who am I to judge?” “We all need to be tolerant.” are (in themselves), absolute statements that are affirming  absolute truth!

Paul Copan makes this point in his book, Is Everything Really Relative? He writes “After all, if we attempt to reject [truth], we’ll do so on the basis of reasons we take to be true, and not false. But if objective truth, reality, and morality exist, then this has certain implications for me. It means living in accordance with these truths rather than pretending they don’t exist.”

So, what is truth and why is it important in our lives? First, I created a simple acrostic for truth:

Transcends – God is truth and has revealed His truth to us (e.g., gravity existed before Newton discovered it).
Real – Truth corresponds to reality.  We know the difference between truth and a lie.
Unchanging – Truth is absolute and exclusive. That is to say, truth never changes even though our beliefs about truth change (e.g., earth is flat).
Transcultural – Truth is for all people, at all times and in all locations (e.g., 2+2=4).
Honest – Truth is telling it like it is.

Second, truth is vitally important because the God of Truth exists and has given us His truth to be lived out and obeyed (Ps. 25:15; 86:11; Jn. 1:14-17; 1 Pet. 1:22). Without truth, life would be open for interpretation, and therefore, a walking contradiction. If humans are left to devise their own form of truth and value, then whose to say their truth is right or wrong?

 The truth of the matter is, without objective truth anything is permissible. This, of course, is an absolutely dangerous way of thinking and will have major consequences in the decisions and practices of its followers.

That’s why it is incumbent upon every Christian parent to provide biblical oversight over their children, so that they don’t walk in the ways of a postmodernistic culture.

This generation needs to hear the truth logically and lived out biblically!

Take Action

1. Keep developing a biblical worldview so that you are ready to defend the faith.
2. Look for opportunities to engage your children with topics that teach God’s truth.
3. Get connected with mature couples that will teach you and hold you accountable.

Parental Apologetics

Through the years I have trained many parents and young people in a field of study called apologetics. The very word “apologetics” brings with it both a sense of confusion and fear among a lot of well meaning Christians. The truth is there are many Christians untrained in apologetics and ill-equipped to handle the mounting questions and concerns the world has about Christ, the Bible, salvation, and heaven and hell. This is a grave concern and one the church needs to be better equipped to handle if we hope to counter the opposition. Therefore, the ministry of apologetics is an important requirement of all Christians and ought to be a high priority in their daily lives.

What is Apologetics?

The nature and meaning of apologetics is giving a verbal defense for the Christian Faith. Apologetics comes from the Greek word apologia, which conveys the idea of a person attempting to provide legitimate facts to exonerate the falsely accused (in this case Christianity). You can basically break up the word apologia into two parts: “apo” (away) and “logia” (speech), “to speak away” an accusation.[1]

Dr. Norman Geisler describes the meaning of apologetics in these terms, “[Apologetics] is simply to defend the faith, and thereby destroy arguments and every proud obstacle against the knowledge of God (2 Cor. 10:5). It is opening the door, clearing the rubble, and getting rid of the hurdles so that people can come to Christ.”[2] There are at least nine references to apologetics in the New Testament (Acts 22:1; 25:8, 16; 1 Cor. 9:3; 2 Cor. 7:11; Phil. 1:7, 16; 2 Tim. 4:16; 1 Pet. 3:15, 16).

Geisler and Bocchino provide a twofold task for the apologist. They articulate that the essential meaning of apologetics is, “to establish the credibility of the Christian faith given the objective evidence (reason), and secondly, to lead the non-believer to a point of decision (faith).” So the question before each all of us is how often are we articulating the objectivity of Christianity and leading a person to a point of decision? This especially should be a top priority for all Christian parents. Our children need to be raised and discipled according to absolute truth, and provided solid answers that will settle the doubt and fear captivated in their hearts.

Why is apologetics necessary?

A prerequisite to defending the faith is not winning the argument. What is necessary and what makes apologetics so effective is when the character of the apologist does not contradict, but rather complement the clear teachings and work of Christ! The Bible teaches to be a servant (2 Tim. 2:24-26); ambassador (2 Cor. 5:20); and child of God (1 Jn. 3:1). When we defend the faith (especially with family), we need to be gentle and seek proper direction and guidance of the Holy Spirit (Jn. 6:65). Hugh Hewitt rightly comments that, “It is not the Christian life to wound, embarrass, or play one-upmanship with colleagues, friends, or even opponents, but it’s a common vice that anyone can easily fall into.”[5]

How do I start applying apologetics?

First, dig deeper in studying the evidence for Christianity for yourself. Second, pray and be ready for opportunities to share and defend the Christian Faith. Third, don’t look to disprove a person’s religious belief, but rather be sensitive to improve the relationship as you prove the validity of Christianity.

Apologetics has always been an untapped resource that most parents have overlooked when raising their families. I believe if more parents started using apologetics with the goal of strengthening their child’s faith, the massive exodus of young people leaving the church would be considerably lower than they appear today.

Here is an acrostic that defines an apologist:

“Always be ready to give a defense (1 Pet. 3:15).”
“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ (Rs. 13:14).”
“Obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29).”
“Let love be without hypocrisy (Rs. 12:9).”
“Obedient in all things (2 Cor. 2:9).”
“Give thanks to God always (2 Thess. 2:13).”
“Imitators of God (Eph. 5:1)”
“Speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).”
“Test all things, hold fast to what is good (1 Thess. 5:21).”

Apologetic Resources:

1. Dr. Norman Geisler
2. Lee Strobel
3. Worldview Academy
4. Summit Ministries
5. Stand to Reason
6. CARM
7. RZIM

[1]Kenneth Boa, Faith Has Its Reasons (Colorado Springs, Colorado: NavPress, 2001), 17 (page citations are to the reprint edition).
[2]Francis J. Beckwith, To Everyone an Answer (Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 2004), 9 (page citations are to the reprint edition).
[3]Pete Bocchino, Apologist (n.p., n.d.).
[4]Ibid.
[5]Hugh Hewitt, In, but Not of (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2003), 166 (page citations are to the reprint edition).