There is nothing more heart wrenching than sitting across the table with a Christian couple that want a divorce. I remember meeting with a couple I knew very well and respected highly. So (to my surprise) when they started to share with me their marital problems, I was totally thrown off guard. I thought they wanted to meet to talk about how we can disciple more families in the Word of God—not discuss how to save their marriage!
As my initial shock wore off, I undoubtedly offered my full support and cooperation to see that they received all the care needed to help save their marriage. I remember after I prayed for the couple and we said our good-byes, I remained in my office for a moment afterwards thinking to myself, why do so many Christian couples struggle in their marriages?
Like that couple, maybe you’ve been there or know someone who has. The sad reality is marriages are falling apart for failing to keep God in their marriages. It seems like most marriages start out strong in the beginning, but in a matter of a few short years, that once glowing marriage begins to grow dimmer by the day.
Life is certainly busy and carries with it many challenges. All the scheduled appointments to get to, errands to run, and extra family activities can be overwhelming at times. And it can often put a strain on the marriage. Thus, despite whether your marriage is stronger than ever or is in need of some work, here are three essential truths that are applicable for any marriage.
The first essential for any good marriage is to make a covenant with God. It is God who brings the man and the woman together in His presence and unites them as one flesh (Gen. 2:24). This united covenant is not only an acknowledgement that God is to be desired and worshipped, but is also an active submission to one another (Eph. 5:21). When the marriage equation has God in it—that marriage will not be easily broken (Ecc. 4:12).
The second essential is a companionship shared between the husband and the wife. A simple piece discovered in healthy marriages is laughter. That’s right. A great indicator of a good marriage is one that is filled with laughter and joy. In Proverbs 17:22 it reads, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” To achieve laughter and joy in marriage, the husband and wife must seek time together and work hard to be “good medicine” for each other.
The third essential to a good marriage is a commitment to remain faithful and pure. Without question every single marriage will have its ups and downs. But God has called each marriage to remain committed and will give them strength to overcome any trial or testing (1 Cor. 10:13). The bottom line is if any marriage is expected to last, the married couple must surrender everything and be willing to do anything to keep the trust and commitment strong.
In the end, marriages that last are ones that stick together. A good marriage doesn’t look to win the argument or get everything they want. A good marriage works together and seeks to use their marriage as a ministry to others (Phil. 2:4). Ecclesiastes 9:9 sums up marriage pretty well: “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days.”
Remember, a good marriage makes a covenant before God, cultivates a strong companionship with each other, and stays committed to the very end.
Good Marriage Practices
- Spend time in daily prayer and meditation in the Word of God.
- Offer daily intercession for your spouse and family.
- Deliberately seek the Lord together in prayer.
- Discuss and agree on a plan for the family.
- Be open and transparent about your feelings.
- Be a great listener.
- Treat your family the way you would want to be treated.
- Serve the other person.
- Always forgive.
- Build fun memories.
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