Leading people isn’t always easy. For some men—though—leading people in the workplace comes naturally. However, when it comes to leading their family—they take a back seat.
Why is that?
What I found through the years is that men typically struggle with three primary forms of deficiencies at home (some worse than others): (1) apprehension to his wife’s moods and expectations, (2) insecurity about his lack of leadership skills, and (3) feeling guilty for placing the career over family.
As a dad, I found myself struggling (from time to time) with each of these. But there came a point in my life that I didn’t want to ignore these insecurities and let them takeover my life.
I began to pray more fervently over these areas in my life, and openly share them with my wife. In the midst of my spiritual awakening, God began to break my heart and give me a greater love for my wife and family. Rather than feel uneasy or removed from conflict, I began stepping in to seek a resolution. Rather than neglect making decisions, I gladly stepped into my God ordained role to shepherd my family. The dream of leading a successful ministry was no longer a concern of mine. I now cared more about leading a successful family life.
This isn’t easy. But with God’s help and with the support of your wife, any man can do it!
Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict you. Don’t let your pride continue to destroy your chances of becoming a better dad. Surrender to God and watch Him use you!
Application
To be a good dad, you must love your wife. The Bible says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7, NLT). Your kids need to see that you treat your wife better than you treat yourself. They need to know that she is the love your life—and nothing will ever change that!
To be a good dad, you must lead your family. The Bible says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” (Eph. 6:4, NLT). Your kids need you to remain loving and patient with them. Not quick to punish or provoke them to anger. They need a father who will represent Christ and teach them the Word of God.
To be a good dad, you must put to death your selfish ambitions. The Bible says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Phil. 2:3-4, NIV). Your kids need to know your ministry at home is more important than your career in the world. They need to know they mean more to you than fame and fortune.
Questions
- If you were to ask your kids what they thought of your marriage, what would they say?
- If you were to ask your kids what they thought of your leadership, what would they say?
- If you were to ask your kids what they thought was the most important thing to you, what would they say?
Action Steps
- Model a marriage of love and respect to your kids.
- Look for ways to incorporate biblical lessons into daily activities.
- Evaluate your career and make any necessary cuts to preserve your family.
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